Managing Conflicts

okay, believed that everybody will go through conflicts with people around you..
actually when conflicts arises, you will always think that you are the right one.
sometimes it may be good to put youself into other people's shoes to view things, because different people has different view, opinions towards certain things.

It not only help us to view from another angle, it also helps us to be aware of things happening around. Sometimes, people tends to say some mean and hurtful words to the other party in a conflict, Which i feel that there isn't a need to, as it doesn't solve the conflict, thus, managing anger is very important. Sometimes when you bring out the bad habits or the problem in the past the person has in a conflict, you will think of your very own self, what you said is actually what you are doing so too; it actually helps to release your mistakes while saying people.

i personally feel that, in a conflict, it is better to say out what you feel towards the issue, and not towards what the person had done wrong. Also not to put all the blame on the person for the conflict, as you, yourself are also contributing to it. I would choose not to be in a conflict, because involving in a conflict really makes a relationship in a bad state. Making friends are easy, maintaining it is difficult. Being together in a family, or getting to know each other is an affinity. If both are willing to solve the conflict, sit down clamly, talk and understand what is the issue, say what they are both feeling towards it, it actually strenghtens the relationship and thus, conflict resolves. If not, i guess one will have to give in first, then after sometime, get back to the person and discuss the issue.

Who wants to be in a conflict? guess no one wants.
so managing your anger and manging conflict is very important.

Managing Anger

yes..
when we get angry, we shout, we hit something, we shows off our attitude to the people around us, but if you give a second thought, those people who did not made you angry are innocent. Some might be good to letting you to vain your anger on them, but what if they people around you are also not in a good mood, had a quarell before hand too? Both will be having another fight, which serves to no good.

while as for me, i actually get very frustrated, stress, shows off my attitude to the people around me, and my eyes are often widely opened than usual.

so managing anger is very important.
There are also serveral ways that i used to control my anger:

1. Take in a big breath.
2. Clutch my fist
3. listen to music
4. write what happen in the diary
5. talk to someone close
6. hit something soft
7. tear waste paper

But my angryness always doesn't last long.. after i have vain all my anger out..
i'll take it as nothing had happen. And when time passed, i'll look up with the other party again to talk peacefully.
To me, time can cover everything, as long as we both already have no angryness with each other, then will be able to talk and analyse the situation together, and see what have i misunderstood, what did he do? and in the end, whose ever fault is it, i will apologise for what i have done, or apologise for the attitude that particular day.

following the COW analysis,
we should direct our anger at the right target.

like what i have said above, you might have another conflict with other people who has no relation to the stuation. so we must direct the anger correctly to the correct people.

stay clam and think for a while, what is the problem that actually started up the conflict.
try to ask yourself whether what i have said, is it reall true? where's the edvidence?

after that talk to the other party peacefully, example; "this belongs to me, how can you used it without my permission?! it's my birthday present! you idoit" try to change your phase to "this is a gift from my best friend, if you wants to borrow it, can you please ask me for permission before using it? because if it has gone missing, i'll be very sad"
Bad situation can turned into a not so bad situation.